Driving through the Andes is a series of highs, lows, and nothing in between. Take this ride through Colombia’s coffee growing region as an example.
The scenery is lush with bright green mountains and coffee plants growing like weeds. But the bus slows down to a halt and you realize you are no longer moving. Instead, a road crew is removing the rubbage from a land slide, meaning only one side of drivers can pass for the next 10 minutes. Repeat this process every 10 miles.
Just as the movie ends that you avoided watching in favor of viewing the unique scenery, the sky turns dark and the bus attendant will have no intention of showing another movie. Now you are bored out of your mind until you remember you brought an mp3 player.
After a few minutes of silence the guy sitting next to you will start up conservation and you end up making a great friend that winds up showing you around his city the next week.
But because you have hours on the same bus the two of you eventually tire of talking and decide to get some rest. Only rest is impossible because you are riding through the Andes, a two lane highway, with sharp curves every eight seconds. It is therefore impossible to fall asleep because you are gripping the seat in front of you so you don’t keep banging into your new friend.
That’s when you snap your head up and press your face against the window while you cringe because you begin to notice your bus passing the slow trucks in front by swerving into the wrong lane into oncoming traffic.
The next high is when you realize how exciting this ride has become. You grab a bottle of fanta orange soda you bought at the rest stop hours before and chomp away on a tub of dulce de leche or arrequipe!
Sooner or later you notice the sun rising and you have been on the same bus for almost 15 hours without sleep. That’s when you blurt aloud, “Fuck me, this was not worth it!”