Welcome to Round 3 of Flashpacker or Backpacker? We just have to do a few more episodes and we can get syndicated in South America. We are hoping to run right after Two and a Half Men. (I swear, people of the world, America has better TV than Charlie Sheen/Ashton Kutcher with a laugh track. Why do we only export our worst cultural products, like Two and a Half Men, the Black Eyed Peas, and McDonalds?)
Anyway, here’s Round Three. As always, the idea is to identify whether the protagonist is a Backpacker or Flashpacker. This week’s is more of a “choose your own adventure”type interactive activity. Get ready.
1) You wake up covered in sweat. It’s suffocatingl, hot and you roll off of a sofa and stumble your way toward the bathroom to get some water. Light is screaming its way through the window, and you can hear the sound of a busy city street below. As you make a move toward the bathroom, you realize you don’t know where the bathroom is and with that realization comes the realization that you have no idea where you are. You look around the room and quickly see that there are a few pictures of a Thai family laying around. What do you do?
To grab your stuff and run out the door go to 2). To explore the apartment go to 3).
2) You are wearing your clothes still, that’s good. You feel for your belongings. You have your phone, and your wallet….wait, where’s your wallet?
To look in the other rooms for your wallet, go to 3). To run out the door go to number 4).
3) You need to know where you are and get your bearings. You’re in Bangkok, you know that much. At least you were last night when you went out. You slowly open a door in the apartment, and you see an older Thai woman fast asleep in bed. You check another room and there are two kids sleeping in there. You turn and look toward the apartment door and realize it’s wide open. Did you just wander in a random Thai family’s apartment? You can’t find your wallet. What do you do?
To wake up the woman and ask her if she knows what’s going on, go to 5). To run out the door go to 4).
4) You run out the door. Wallet be damned, you just need to get the hell out of here. You get to the street and realize you have no idea where you are. You’ve got to find a way back to the hostel, where your passport is. You have no money, and but you need to get in a cab. You stop a cab.
If you get in the cab and then open the door and run when you get near your hostel, go to 5). If you take out your phone, call your hotel, and ask if they can send someone to pick you up go to 6).
5) Really? That’s your move? Okay fine. People start screaming. Police are called. You are brought to the station and charged. Smart. Real smart. Of course, you’re a backpacker. You know how I know? Because you woke up not knowing where you were in Bangkok! What is this, amateur hour?
6) Nice thought. But you aren’t staying at a hotel. You found a place on Air BNB because you’re a Flashpacker. You’re an idiot, for sure. But you’re a Flashpacker. Now go to 5) to receive your punishment.